GRUMBLY BOTTOM

I N S P I R A T I O N

Judging by feedback, most people have encountered the Grumbly-Bottoms as neighbours at some time in their lives. Call them what you will, I have had my fair share too. I play the song in the key of D and it lends itself to DADGAD. There is a version of this song on youtube: Grumbly Bottom. You can hear the track on Soundcloud.


Grumbly Bottom

They never say “good morning” or “what a lovely day”!                      

I don’t know why they do it but they look the other way.

They look the other way and they never say a word, then                

They wander down the garden path as though they haven’t heard

If our house was number ten, with washing on the line,      

Mr and Mrs Grumbly-Bottom would live at number nine.

 

They never seem to have the time for idle chit or chat

Though I can see the benefits of doing things like that

I don’t let it bother me though it is a little grim

I don’t let it bother me though it seems to bother him

If our house was number eight, three doors down from eleven,

Mr and Mrs Grumbly-Bottom would live at number seven.

 

They’ve got issues over parking and who parks here or there.

I’m not really bothered, who puts what car where.

It’s not that I’m complaining, it’s just a little tough,

Because however good I try to be, it’s never good enough.

If our house was number six, with terracotta shingle on the drive,

Mr and Mrs Grumbly-Bottom would live at number five.

 

I try to keep things tidy and minimise the mess.

Maintain an equilibrium and stifle any stress.

Keep within the boundaries, never cross the lines,

Keep within my borders and try to read the signs.

If our house was number four, with little birdies singing up a tree,

Mr and Mrs Grumbly-Bottom would live at number three.

 

Once or twice, I’ve heard it said they talk behind my back.

If I say something is grey, then they will say its black!

I think they like to grumble, and that’s ok by me.

And perhaps the best way forward is to simply disagree!

If our house was number two, as my name isn’t John,

Mr and Mrs Grumbly-Bottom would live at number one.

 

They never say “good morning” or “what a lovely day”

I don’t know why they do it but they look the other way.

They look the other way, and they never say a word, then

They wander down the garden path as though they haven’t heard.

 

Paul J Openshaw 2008

© Paul J Openshaw 2012