MICHAEL Mc CARTHY

I N S P I R A T I O N


Having got off the ferry at Cork, we drove out onto the Beara peninsula in Ireland and kept driving until we literally ran out of road. It was approx 8pm. I rolled down the car window to ask a farmer (Michael McCarthy) if he knew of anywhere we might pitch a tent for the night. Lyrics for the song are virtually word for word as the situation unfolded. He wanted to know whether all the nurses in England were virgins. He wanted to know whether he could get viagra on the NHS. I could not pick a pen up fast enough! 

If you click on the words Michael McCarthy, it will take you to a video recording of the song, which was made at Bunkfest 2011. This was my contribution to "Writers in the Round". There is also a youtube version: Michael McCarthy. You can hear the track on Soundcloud.

 

Michael McCarthy

You can put up your tent on a space on my farm,

You’ll be safe there from danger and all kinds of harm.

Do you sleep in a bag? Do you sleep in your jeans?

Would you use a French letter or some other means?

Is it true in your country, there’s a national health?

Is it true that it’s paid for by your country’s wealth?

I’d love just to ask you and I’d love you to say,

If I needed some viagra would I have to pay?


I am Michael McCarthy, I’m a farmer from Kerry,

I’m as Irish as Irish as ever you’ve seen.

I’d like to find out all the ways of your country,

The people you’ve met and the places you’ve been.

 

I have noticed the absence of hair on your head,

Could that be from spending too much time in bed?

Is it true that a man with as little hair as you

Has libido to spare would you say that was true?

If you’d like to swim, you can swim from my beach,

It’s not too far away, it’s within easy reach.

You can swim without clothes what a freshness that brings,

I’ll stay here on the shore and watch over your things.

 

How many children have you managed to bear?

What are they doing and do you know where?

I’d consider it an honour if you conceived on my land,

But if you don’t feel quite like it, I’ll give you a hand,

And if you bear a child, when time’s course has run,

Would you write back and tell me if it’s a daughter or a son,

And if it’s a son and he looks just like me,

I’ll allow you to camp on my farmland for free.

 

When he’s full grown, I give you my word,

He can take on this holding with a good suckler herd.

It’s a good place for raising the fruit of the womb,

And with twenty-three acres there’s plenty of room,

For a young growing lad needs to find his own feet,

Where there’s plenty potatoes and plenty of meat.

He can spend all his time in the ways that I do,

Making polite conversation with people like you!

 

Paul J Openshaw (2005)


….and with chords….bearing in mind that I play this in DADGAD and with capo on third fret, I have illustrated this as though it is in key of D.

D

You can put up your tent on a space on my farm,

                    A                                                                           D

You’ll be safe there from danger and all kinds of harm.

D                                                                              

Do you sleep in a bag? Do you sleep in your jeans?

                       A                                                                 D

Would you use a French letter or some other means?

         G                                                          D

Is it true in your country, there’s a national health?

         G                                              D                           A

Is it true that it’s paid for by your country’s wealth?

      D                                      

I’d love just to ask you and I’d love you to say,

       A                                                                    D

If I needed some viagra would I have to pay?


Chorus

D                                             

I am Michael McCarthy, I’m a farmer from Kerry,

             A                                                   D

I’m as Irish as Irish as ever you’ve seen.

         D                  

I’d like to find out all the ways of your country,

          A                                                                               D

The people you’ve met and the places you’ve been.


…..other three verses are much the same as the first one.

© Paul J Openshaw 2012